Anton & Mommy's Top Car Songs of 2016

Having a snow day has produced a great thing...time for me to go through iTunes and burn a compilation (yes, I use CDs and iTunes, judge away!) of the greatest hits of 2016. These are the  tunes Anton and I  (and sometimes Papa) listened to on repeat as we traveled to and from karate, the coast, Portland, and all of the other car trips we took. The music rotated but a few things stayed constant: 1) Anton would always get passenger seat even if there were other adults in the car 2) Anton would immediately search for gum or candy before applying seatbelt 3) Anton would immediately change whatever music was currently playing (probably a good thing since it was usually explicit rap) and navigate to the EXACT song he wanted to hear, even if it had been the same song for several weeks (months). The kid knows what he likes. This compilation is a of taste of those songs...although not ALL inclusive. Weird Al Yankovic was purposely left off of this list...we are all a little burned out right now on Weird Al as much as we love him. Also, for the music 'splainers, I realize that most of these songs did not actually come out in 2016, I'll do that later but it won't be kid-friendly.

Without further delay...here are Anton & Mommy's Top Car Songs of 2016! ***drumroll***

1. "Rock Your Body" Justin Timberlake
2. "Stars 4-Ever" Robyn
3. "No Promises" Icehouse
4. "Keep You In Mind" Gourdan Banks
5. "Not The Future" Bad Lip Reading
6. "Please Don't Turn Me On" Artful Dodger (Disclosure Remix)
7. "Born This Way" Lady Gaga
8. "White Noise" Disclosure feat. AlunaGeorge
9. "Moody Mondays" Eric Prydz feat. The Cut
10. "Rumour Mill" Rudimental feat. Anne-Marie & Will Heard
11. "Hey Boy" Take That
12. "Seagulls! (Stop It Now)" Bad Lip Reading
13. "WTF (Where They From)" Missy Elliott feat. Pharrell
14. "iT" Christine and the Queens
15. "Doin'It Right" Daft Punk
16. "Boss" Disclosure
17. "Hang With Me" Robyn
18. "Can't Stop the Feeling" Justin Timberlake

Emmy Cleaves workshop Seattle- 9/10/16

I spent a glorious day in downtown Seattle on Saturday. The weather was perfect, my hotel was baller, and I got to learn more about yoga from Bikram's first and foremost teacher, Emmy Cleaves. She's in her 90s and looks amazing in a unitard. One of my favorite tips was one she asked the men in the room to close their ears for but it was REALLY helpful! On the last part of Stretching pose (on the floor) she told the ladies to "make sure your VJ is flat on the ground"! That really helped because sometimes my VJ has a tendency to creep up...you don't want that! The room was PACKED though not hot enough but who can complain. This was a once in a lifetime experience and I enjoyed every second of it. I even enjoyed walking in downtown Seattle during my break. I find Seattle to be sort of an ugly, urine soaked downtown but on this day it looked lovely...or maybe I was just seeing things differently!

8.24.16- 6am

Had a really strong class today...felt extra focused. I think this has to do partially with some new literature I have been reading that has helped open me up more to listening to my thoughts and having more control over them and ultimately freeing myself from them. Reading "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle. It's all about getting rid of the ego...that inner voice, the need to identify with form that we all seem burdened by. Slowly letting go of that opens up things I could have never imagined unless I saw/felt it happen to me, and it's starting to...a little bit at a time. Yoga is such a great way to help sharpen that focus. There is SO MUCH to discover!

Angel of the day: Compassion (hopefully this angel is with me every day even if I don't pick it from the bowl)

8.16.16- 6am

Being able to curve in towards your belly during compression poses like Stretching and Standing Separate Leg Head to knee is a real challenge for me but as I start to go deeper in my practice I'm feeling the benefits. There are parts of the neck that are so bound up with tension and lack of use. Allowing the neck to release in to these poses, and then curling in towards the abdomen releases so much good stuff in to the body!

8.3.16- 9:30am Aspen, CO

I took a very interesting yoga class today. It was very different from the ones in Corvallis or Portland, or anywhere I've been so far. The main differences:
-music and loud talking before class...music varied from Lionel Ritchie to Daft Punk to some sort of new country song which was unfortunate. During the standing series I recall Warren G "This DJ" and some other random R&B.  Loud talking was mainly about luxury hotels to stay at in Boston. Apparently the Mandarin Oriental is really the best in terms of location and spa and there is a Soul Cycle right next door. #themoreyouknow
-I couldn't see myself in the front mirror (we were packed in mat to mat people in front of each other) but when I did a backbend I could see myself in the back mirror and it was REALLY cool! Until I almost lost my balance on the forward bend...but wow, that's a view I have never seen before. Especially while listening to Dr. Dre.
-The class was only 75min long but we did all of the 26 poses. They offer an hour long one as well...I guess you just don't hold the poses that long. I was told in class "we like to get things done quickly in Aspen".

7.30.16- 9am

I was feeling a little extra motivated yesterday in class. The reason why is a bit petty and involves vanity, something I am working on letting go of ...but it served me somewhat well in class because I was able to hold Standing Head to Knee better than I ever have before.

Angel of the day: Communication

7.27.16- 6am

Today was a small class and moderately silent though Jeannie's silent classes involve less silence...she loves to do the dialogue. I had a new sensation doing Tree Pose that seemed worth recording. On the second side I was able to bring both hands to namaskar and I felt a new sense of grounding in the pose I've never felt before. As I was able to press my knee forward and down more I felt an interconnectedness up my entire body. Hard to explain other than I just felt stronger than I ever have in that pose and I am excited for the opportunity to continue to build on that feeling!

Angel of the day: Awakening

7.21.16- 6am

Today was a really important day in class...not so much because of the yoga but the meditation before class. I try to meditate at least for a few minutes before and after class, laying down in Savasana. Today, I reached a new place in my meditation. Hard to describe other than it was exhilarating and incredibly peaceful at the same time. There was something about the silence of the room, and that sound (of silence...queue the Simon & Garfunkel song) that took me in to a deeper level of concentration on my breath and stillness. The coolest part is that that concentration stayed with me through the entire class and I went deeper in most postures than I ever have before. It really takes time and is challenging to meditate but the slow rewards that come are amazing and I'm so grateful to finally be seeing them. Nothing worthwhile comes easy...as they say.

Angel of the the day: RISK

7.14.16- 6am

Really great class with Elizabeth, so many great corrections. Let's see how many I can remember.

-When raising arms above your head (like in Half Moon, etc) think Down, Out, then Up. This helps broaden and open the chest and get your arms closer to your head.

-Grip strength on Standing Head to Knee...think of your fingers coming together like Lincoln Logs and not separating. If you really focus on this it makes balancing easier too.

-Balancing stick...I have probably been doing this wrong until today. Jeannie demonstrated...you can't let your arms move from the sides of your head. It's really challening to look at your toes in the mirror with your arms still sandwiched against your head...but that's the way to do it and I noticed a big change. It's much more challenging now.

Off to Enchanted Forest!

7.12.16 9am

Got two good tips from Jeannie today...although I didn't really need to her be giving me a hard time about drinking water between postures which she did to annoying level...but whatever. The tips were in Standing Bow to really grab the kicking foot and when you do that, notice what your opposing shoulder does. The goal being you need to relax that should BACK so you can twist. It makes a big difference with balance and depth when you focus on really squeezing your foot. Second tip was something that's said all the time in Standing Head to Knee but she took it a step further...when grabbing your food with the interlocked, tight grip, notice your PALMS. The palms can really acted as a support so that you don't lose the grip. Just thinking about the whole hand during the pose did help keep the grip. This has been a rough week and it's not even close to being over but yoga helped. Thank you, yoga.

7.8.16- 6am

Today and yesterday in class I felt stronger in Standing Bow and Standing Head To Knee (challening concentration poses) and I think the music class is partly responsible for that. My concentration and and my strength are working together more. In Standing Head to Knee if I can think about my elbows holding my leg up and really pressing/pulling my foot back it allows for more stability. That's the key to getting my forehead to my knee in a controlled way...it's exciting to see how i'm going to get there even though I haven't arrived yet. That's true with many things these days.

7.4.16- 9:30am Sellwood studio MUSIC CLASS!

Had a wonderful class at the Sellwood PDX studio this morning. It was a silently lead music class. The only other music class I have ever done was at Sellwood about 6 months ago...it was to Disintegration by The Cure so needless to say I was in heaven. It's great to know that other types of music also work as well. This one was a mixture of downtempo electronic like  Telepopmusic, Air, Daft Punk maybe? I'm not sure but it was all really great...no lyrics, chillax music. During Standing Head to Knee I was so in to the repetitiveness of the beat that I was able to touch forehead to knee and exit with balance (once on one side). So the music took me to a new place in my yoga....and I really trust the musical tastes of this particular studio owner. It's probably best to save it for special occasions in Portland and not try to get the Corvallis studio to do it (unless they only use mixes I pre-approve). Doing yoga to the Grateful Dead or Little Feat or something would really bum me out.

7.1.16- 6am

Skipped class yesterday and took a mental health day from work. I ended up taking 2 naps. I can't say I feel particularly rested today, though, even though I should. I'm not given the luxury of being unplugged from email even when on vacation...this adds to stress and stress is something I am trying to balance if not eliminate through yoga. In class today Carol talked about stress and how some stress is good and can make you more resilient. I agree with that but I'd also prefer not to have any. Also, there was a new guy in class today who had a nipple ring, that was stressful, and not in a good way. First thought: why do you want to look like Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs? Second thought: what if it gets yanked out? Third thought: Ignore it, Jane and focus on your fucking breathing.

6.29.16- 11:30am

I excused myself early for lunch so I could do yoga today. The 6am gets to me sometimes and it's nice to change it up if I can (which is rare thanks to work).   Today was a silent class...Elizabeth said afterwards that it may have been the most peaceful, meditative class she's ever had (she was in it not teaching) and I agree. I was in another place...a very calm one, and it was great. Being able to hear your breath and your thoughts the way you can is what does it, allowing you to focus and go deeper (if that's what you choose to do). One saying regarding challenging yourself in yoga is "if you can you must!". Don't do something your body can't handle but if it's saying "I think I can handle this" then you must try. Why? Because why not??

6.23.16- 6am

I have been thinking about my pineal gland a lot lately. It's also referred to as the "Third Eye" based on it's location between the eyes (in side your brain n'stuff though) and it's function which is said to effect (in addition to sleep patterns) your intuition. I have noticed my intuition being much more accurate lately...and my ability to listen to it, stronger. This is an amazing development that everyone should try to experience. I've only cracked the surface but being aware is the first step. I am confident that a regular practice of yoga and meditation will help strengthen this newly unearthed gem even  more. My end goal...growing an actual third eye (kidding...maybe).

).

6.21.16- 6am

Today in class Elizabeth stood directly behind me during the second part of Awkward Pose and challenged me not to touch her as I went down on my toes. It was basically impossible...she told me to stop rubbing my bum on her but alas, I could not. So there's something to work on!

6.17.16- 6am

Mindfulness during yoga practice is the key to going deeper. Being mindful of your breath allows you to do things and overcome things you never realized were possible. It's so neat when it finally happens. It's so simple yet so challenging. It's not up to me to try to  get people I love to do yoga. We all have free will and exercise it as we choose...we can only control ourselves.

6.16.16-6am

Neat...another black metal date \m/. Felt really strong yesterday and today in class...owing somewhat to sleeping in until 6:30am yesterday and doing 11:30am yoga. It's important to switch up and not always just do 6am. Some of the teachers in class want Colin to go to teacher training and he's considering it. I think it would be wonderful for him but I'll use my method of reverse psychology to let him come to that decision himself (or not). The biggest thing I need to remember in class in so  many poses is to puff up my chest...Standing Bow, Standing Separate Leg Stretching, Tree...if I can remember stick out my chest raise it up, everything else follows and you grow by inches. It's finally becoming intuitive but it took two years of practice!!

6.10.16- 6am

Jeannie was in her truest form today, correcting a LOT of things. Got a great tip on Triangle pose which allowed me to go deeper than ever before. It turns out I have built up the strength to bend my leg and get lower than I thought I could...I didn't TRY...I just assumed I couldn't, whoops! So she make me really get down low then she "punched" my hip forward and down. She used her fist! It didn't hurt but it was a really strange feeling to move it that way...my hips, like most women, are tight and only recently really started opening. I don't think I could have done this a month ago. YIPPEE! Now I need to keep remembering to do it that way.

6.7.16- 6am

Two good tips from Jeannie today. First one on Standing Bow...when lifting arm and shoulder in the set up, puff out your chest and open it up before you charge forward. This improves alignment. Second tip was on the first part of Stretching pose; turn nose more to knee and lift up rib cage to curve more. This is not intuitive for me, so I have to remind myself. I have the same issue with situps and Standing Separate Leg Head To Knee...my back does like to curve forward. It's also a bit sore from trying harder on the sit ups yesterday but not in a painful way. It just feels like I used some new muscles...so I'm going to keep at it.

6.6.16-6am

First of all, just realizing how satanic and metal today's date is, \m/!
Very humid class today, you can always tell it's going to be a wet one when you are dripping sweat before the first Pranayama set is over. It was a good cleanse. Observation on Toe Stand...so pleased to see I can do it on both sides again. My knee seems to finally be...dare I say...healed!? For now at least. It was a wonderful feeling to do the full expression of that pose again and lift my gaze on both sides. Still not able to lift hips off of heel though but am contemplating it so that means it's getting closer to a reality. Last observation...I've always disliked and not been good at the straight legged sit ups because of the need to touch forehead to knee. Even when bending my knees it's really challenging for me to get my head to knees and it's due to tightness in the lower back. I really tried today, though, and by the end of class was making it happen. I just hope my back doesn't get sore because of it.

6.3.16- 6am

Small observation today that I felt was worth recording...on Camel Pose, if close your jaw (meaning touch your teeth together with  mouth closed) while bending back, you get a really great stretch of the neck that is probably impossible to get any other way. It feels great and it also seemed to help my back bend more. It also helps lift the chest. Very cool indeed! Now I must remember to keep doing it!

5.27.16- 6am

Today was a special day worth recording...I finally touched my head to my knee in Standing Head to Knee and exited with full control. It was awesome! And even better it happened in Steve's class and he is always my biggest cheerleader and I know it means a lot to him to see people make progress. YES! Feeling very grateful and somewhat transformed. I wonder if I'll ever be able to do it again?

5.17.16- 6am

Well clearly this isn't going to be a daily blog. It will be an "as I'm inspired to write" blog. I've been generally doing Bikram at 6am Monday-Friday and then running or in some cases *GASP* relaxing on the weekends. This is working nicely for me... I can't live without morning Bikram most days. Sometimes the alarm goes off at 5:15 and I want to roll over and go back to sleep but within 5mins my brain starts thinking about how much less enjoyable the day will be if I don't go...and soon enough I'm up! Today was a great class with Erika. I felt stronger in standing head to knee than ever. Not because I could keep my forehead on my knee without falling (still can't really do that) but because I felt stronger and more in control of my focus and breath than ever before. It comes and goes but when it's there it's AWESOME. And to be vain for a moment it's great to actually see that I have stomach muscles. I always assumed my stomach was a big blob and would be that way no matter what...running marathons certainly didn't change it. But it turns out I can get ripped. My weight has regulated to about 140lbs or less without any sort of dieting. I eat what I want when I want it but strangely it's not nearly as much as I wanted before, and what I want is healthier (generally). I know yogis say this happens, and I can report that they are correct. I have been almost totally  vegetarian (I eat fish) for about 6 months...not for political reasons, I just lost my taste for meat and so did Colin. None of these things are why I do yoga but I'm not mad about it either!

5.2.16- 6am

I have been reading a lot of mediation and mindfulness literature lately...I actually look forward to going home at lunch and reading my mindfulness book, it's very unlike me. Each day for the most part (although we all have bad days) I am getting deeper and in to meditation before class and to an extent during class. It makes a world of difference in the ease and flow of the class. I've always known it would but now I can actually experience it! In Standing Bow today, though I fell out a couple of times on the first set, on the second set I got in to a level of concentration I don't think I've ever achieved before. I really did stop feeling the strain, I was so focused on my BREATH, not so much my knee...and that's what got me there. If I can truly and deeply focus on the rhythm of my breath and keep it slow and steady, the opportunities are limitless!

4.27.16- 6am

Didn't have a great class today thanks to not sleeping well (work stress has gotten best of my sleep pattern so far this week) but during class teacher Carol told a story she's told before about how her mother used to always say "If someone doesn't have a smile, share half of yours with them". A bit trite? Perhaps. I had remembered thinking the first time she told the story "cute mom!" and not much else...then yesterday I was driving to a business meeting on campus and for whatever strange reason had a huge smile on my face as I turned in to the parking lot...a somewhat disenfranchised looking student on a bike looked at me and my big smile (not directed at any particular thing, just existing) and she immediately lost the surly look and smiled back! I could tell she didn't really even mean to, it was just contagious. It was lovely and I thought immediately of Carol's cute optimistic mom's quote. I told Carol that story today and I could see that she really appreciated it. She mentioned the quote today in the context of  talking about missing her mom who has passed, as well as gratitude for what she gave her. Carol said "see, we really are all connected!". And that is true...just one more little slice of proof.

4.21.16- 6am

Yesterday I went to an 11:30am class, which was a great change of pace, so much more flexible than 6am! I learned a couple of great tips from teach Kacie that I remember in class today and it's amazing how much of a difference they make. First in Eagle pose when sitting down initially you need to put your weight on your heels as you sit, so that when you lift your leg up and over you are as upright as possible and the weight is already 100% on the heels. They say this in the dialogue but I guess I never heard it the right way until Kacie demonstrated.

The other great tip, though as always it seems so simple and has probably been said a million times but yesterday was the first time I HEARD IT is on Stretching pose to really flex at the ankles as well as bring all 5 toes back equally towards your face. You think you are flexing your ankles...maybe you are...but you can do it MORE. I also have a tendancy to let my little toes lag behind my big toe...nope! They all need to come up together. This helps with Standing Head to Knee too.

4.15.16- 6am

Today I struggled in Standing Head To Knee because I've been given some new tools/tips on how to correct certain things and, as is usually the case, when you are doing something correctly  it's harder! Jeannie is very exacting about having the raised bent leg be at a perfect 90degree angle to the floor before you straighten it. I would generally have my heel in closer to my body before extending it as well as sort of leaning weigh from my bent knee on to my arm. Both of these things are no-nos if you want to be doing it exactly right and I'm at the point where I want to. I think once I can build the strength in my legs to do those two things the rest of it (putting my forehead on my knee without falling out) will happen.

4.13.16- 6am

Even though my knee is a little sore I'm feeling very good in class right now. This morning I had a minute or two of really peaceful meditation where I my mind was truly clear. Learning how to meditate is a really challenging for me, progress is slow but if I can get there before class then I always have a better class. Today I basically floated through it...it was hard physically, it was sweaty, but it was mentally not too challenging at all. You know you've gotten in to the flow when you aren't waiting for a posture to end, you aren't anticipating anything. You just follow the words and let it go. This is how the body gets stronger too and how you find new places to strive for. You can read these things or someone can tell you, but it doesn't translate until it happens to you. Thankful!

4/11/16- 6am

Today in class I focused on trying to see things as they are, not how I think they are...actually HOW THEY ARE. Mentally this is a really hard thing to do. It's easy to look in the mirror and judge, or even see something that's not there. It's easy to stand with your arms at your side and not actually feel the floor with your feet, not make the connection. I would like to do this more often in all aspects of my life and yoga is the way it starts to happen. Just cracking the surface now.

3.31.16- 6am

This is the last day of the 60 day challenge. I did 52 classes. Due to travel and injuries I didn't meet my initial goal of doing 60 days in a row but I came close enough. This is a very typical grade for me...a B/B-...it's like I'm back in high school! I jest though, because I did the best job I could and tried as hard as possible which I admittedly never did in high school. So I'm evolving after all...just slowly. I am now able to touch my forehead to my knee on both sides and exit with some level of control (sometimes) and I couldn't do that before the challenge. My knee feels stronger than it did before the challenge and so does my back (most of time). Yoga is more important to me than ever...and like teacher Carol says, even it if it's trite it's true: Yoga makes you you.

3.28.16- 6am

Did a 4:30pm yesterday as well...that was after running almost 7 miles in the AM. I'm so sore today and fell asleep at 7:30pm last night. Won't be trying that again for a while. Meanwhile Colin is doing triples. Whatever, everyone is different, and he's psychotic.

3.26.16- 9am

Took a couple of days off of class to go spring break roadtripping with Anton. Was lots of fun for the most part but felt great to be back in class! I may even do a double today...we'll see. Teacher Marty has some great quotes today she attributed to Bikram...the one I liked the best was "No matter how hard you try, you cannot awake a person who is pretending to be sleeping". That really resonates with some recent experiences in my life. In the second part of Awkward pose I was able to really sit in the damn chair today...it was definitely the lowest I've gone so far without falling out. Finally getting my toes activated and talking to my quads and lower back.

3.22.16- 6am

Felt a lot better today than yesterday...back still sore in the AM but yoga really makes it feel better. I have turned over a new leave in Guaranurasana...able to sink down lower than before. Also felt really strong during  Pranayama Breathing...my glutes are finally starting to form. It only took 38 years! A couple more years and I'll be ready for my butt close-up in a Rick Ross video.

3.21.16- 6am

I didn't go to class yesterday, because in class on Sat. I tweeked my lower back...again. It behaved much the same way as last time, really bad when I wake then gets better as the day goes on. This blog become way too much about injuries...I'm surprised how much my body has been falling apart lately. I have to believe there is an internal change happening that is causing this. I feel strong, I look better than I have in a long time, I'm at the lowest weight that I have been in years and I'm not dieting at all and my inner peace and self awareness is growing (this is the best part). So yeah, there are set backs but I have to focus on the positive. I did class today and it wasn't too bad despite a tight back and a cold. Gotta keep pushing forward! I will be having a few days off this week for Spring Break with Anton and that will be a good thing, I think. I am no longer in the mindframe of challenging myself to do class every day...I am challenging myself to stay committed to this staying on this path despite hardships.

3.18.16- 6am

Still detoxing after vacation...might try to do a double on Saturday. I think that more than the actual yoga, my fatigue last week was also due to waking up so damn early. Sleep is so precious and I want more of it. Felt stronger than ever in Standing Head to Knee today...not strong enough to put forehead to knee and exit gracefully but able to focus, breathe and lock both knees confidently. Once I do that, I can make all of the other little adjustments and notice the other sensations. It's so true about building slowly, one step at a time. Nothing worthwhile is easy.

3.17.16- 6am

Back in action after a 4 day break from yoga to go to Legoland with the family. I think the break did me much good. I had a fantastic class today and am also touching my toes to forehead in Stretching. The downtime made me stronger, I believe. I was falling apart and needed a break. My back is totally recovered and my knee is doing pretty good. I am hoping to spend the rest of March trying to focus myself and gain more awareness. That's my new goal since I'm not going to try to make-up for missing a few days by doing doubles. I am OK with adjusting my goals...sometimes that's how life is...how very zen of me.

3.12.16- 9am

Had a great class today...back is like 100% better. I won't go in to specifics but I got my period so there is a link there to the back pain and it's sudden dissipation. Not sure if depletion was the culprit or I just needed a day off or my hormones were adjusting to something or or OR? Meh, bodies are such mysterious contraptions I can't begin to guess. I'm just SO THANKFUL for my quick healing...once again yoga and believing in the process proves itself.

6.11.16- 4:30pm

full disclosure (to myself) i wrote really depressing blog earlier this AM saying I was on hiatus from yoga due to a sprained back. I thought I was too, I could barely walk this morning and stayed home from work. But all of a sudden it went away and I decided to very carefully try 4:30 and I had a great class...I couldn't do the sit ups and didn't want to attempt standing head to knee but otherwise had a great class. The body is so strange. I think taking a day and a half off, sleeping in a bit and recharging made all of the difference in the world. I guess I won't complete the everyday goal of the 60 day challenge but I am learning more about my body so that can be my new goal.

3.9.16- 6am

I haven't missed a day of yoga (yet) but been busy and tired and missed a couple of posts. The challenge is getting to me in yet another physical way. I missed my period this month, it has been like clockwork for a long time and then bam, it's gone. After I determined I wasn't pregnant I was kind of at a loss...then I had a great chat with my acupuncturist, Christi, and (after asking me several other questions about my health which she does at every visit taking extensive notes and it's so key) it became obvious I am depleted due to both the daily intense workouts and the fact that I have stopped eating meat. It makes perfect sense...my sleep has been a bit off as well per previous posts and that could be related to this. I'm not going to stop the challenge or eat meat but I am going to be more aware of how much I  eat and drink...I need more fat and protein...and I am going to start taking B12. I may miss my period next month too but after the challenge is over I'm going to dial the yoga back a bit and hopefully it'll be OK.

3.6.16- 6am

I'm back in action...had a great class today, felt really strong. It was a relief after crashing and burning yesterday. A good reminder to stay humble!

3.5.16- 8:30 Sellwood

Normally I have a really good class at this studio but today I had a really hard class. I had to lay out of several postures towards the end and even puked after class which usually only happens if I'm hungover or that one time I foolishly did an illegal white substance the night before. Anyway...this was strange because I felt really good going in. Perhaps it was because I was getting too cocky...I got a yogic reminder not to get overly confident...you will inevitably get hit by the yoga bus before long. Today was that day...

3.4.16- 6am

My class today was fantastic and I am now able to do Toestand again on the 2nd side...still can't get all the way down on the first side though...but closer. Yaay! Also my back pain is totally gone. What a difference 2 days makes...I really hope that's it with the strains for a while.

3.3.16- 11:30

Today was different from the norm in several ways. #1 I had insomnia last night and got about 2 hours of sleep so I stayed home most of the morning trying unsuccessfully to sleep (not sure what's going on) and then went to a special class Steve had wanted the more senior students to attend where about 25 students from OSU fitness classes would be doing Bikram for the first time. It was packed and hot as hell and several of the ripped, super fit 21 year olds had to leave the room. Not this old bitch, though...hehehe! It feels good to know that my mind is getting sharper and my body more in line with it as I get older. It's the hardest thing to learn (well one of the hardest) and you are reminded of how far you've come when you see people just starting. The key is to keep wanting it more and more and not getting cocky about it. *drops mic, steps off of soapbox

3.2.16- 6am

Today I feel like shit...why do I always sleep poorly and feel bad on Wednesdays? Need to break this cycle. And yes, I did slightly tweak my back yesterday and wasn't able to do sit ups today. Hooray.

3.1.16- 6am

I did 6am yesterday on leap day 2/29 but was so slammed at work from the second I walked in that I didn't get a chance to blog. Today in class my knee was very noticeable better...I'm so happy and thankful and hope it stays that way. I can almost do Toe Stand again but i'm still not pushing it. Also a strange thing happened in  my lower back during the first set of Half Tortoise Pose...as I was going down I felt a strange sort of sharp sensation in my lower back. At first I was thinking "oh shit here we go again" but then it didn't hurt on the way back up or in the second set or at all. In fact I was able to get probably another inch closer to touching my forehead to my toes in Stretching pose!? So I'm wondering if something in my lower spine opened up or loosened? I'm going to go with that theory for now.

2.28.16- 9am

Today's class was so much better. Even though the teacher wasn't my favorite the atmosphere both in the room and I guess in my state of mind was completely different, phew! It really doesn't matter who is teaching or what they are saying when you get in to the mental state where you are totally focused on doing the task at hand.

2.27.16- 9am

This was the hottest, lamest class I've had in a long time. I had to sit out a couple of postures, not something I usually do. And by the second Blowing And Firm I was barely able to do it at half the time. Just really hot, and crowded...6ams are so much better than weekend classes.The silver lining was Marguerite did class with me (and was about to pass out as well...it wasn't just me!) and then we went wine tasting and had a fabulous day. So that made up for it.

2.26.16- 6am

Made it through another week of 6ams. Inching my way slightly closer on third part of Stretching pose but still not there. Noticing my shoulders and hips creaking and popping a bit more in Standing Head To Knee and Triangle...almost like i'm getting an adjustment. I consider this a good thing! Was able to lower my bad knee several inches more than I have in weeks during Tree pose. Baby steps. Did some new stretches before class to get me in to Hanumanasana...the splits!

2.25.16- 6am

Had a good night's sleep and am feeling better today. Had a stronger class. Am able to do "Fixed Firm pose" again and well as "Spine Twisting" as the knee continues to improve. Right now more than ever  I am determined to focus more on really doing "Savasana" correctly...which means to completely relax and stay focused on relaxation and meditation in the moment. This is by far the hardest thing for anyone to master and I haven't even really been trying until now because I didn't understand it...it's just that foreign to me to be totally relaxed and in the moment...but the light is coming. I've never done anything that simple yet that challenging, however. DAMN!

2.24.16- 6am

Feeling incredibly burnt out today but got through class much to my surprise. Of course you always feel better once you go but I still feel exhausted thanks to work being a neverending onslaught lately. Is it Friday yet? FUDGE. Nothing much else to contribute today I'm afraid.

2.23.16- 6am

I am now able to bend both knees while doing "Spine Twisting Pose" this is great news...my knee is healing! The bad news is that the chiro I was going to is out of network and since I'm not really able to spend $1000 on alternative medicine this month I had to cancel my next appt. The silver lining is that whatever he did the first time is really working so at this point I don't think I need to go back. Hopefully I'm right.

2.22.16- 6am

I have realized over the last few weeks that I am developing callouses on my knees and upper feet as well as on both of the tips of my middle fingers (!?!). I knew the knees and feet were caused by the kneeling poses but what could these middle finger issues be from?  I mean yes, I do use them alot and it seems only appropriate they are getting calloused but why now? I paid close attention in class today and determined it's from "Standing Seperate Leg Head to Knee" that's doing it. Only in the last month have I been consistently putting my hands in prayer position during that pose and it's very challenging for me but when done correctly the middle fingers bear the brunt of the carpet. Mystery solved! And I'm kind of proud of them...although my manicurist will be horrified.

2.21.16-9am

Colin and I had a good Jeannie class today. It was packed and I was bold/brave enough to stand right next to the podium knowing full well Jeannie would pick on me but now I love when she does that. And sure enough...2 poses got some attention. On "Standing Bow Pulling Pose" I was able to hold full posture while she made me keep bringing my body down to a level I had never gotten to before. Three things I need to remember: 1-keeping kicking the back leg, 2- don't lower my arm 3- breathe better. Second correction was on 3rd part of "Stretching Pose" where I am about 3 inches from touching my head to my toes. Jeannie sort of yanked my butt out from under me and it caused me to go forward more and gain a bit more stretch. Close but still no cigar.

2.20.16-9am

Today I touched my forehead to my knee on the second side, second set of "Standing Head To Knee". Steve caught it at the end and made the observation that it must be that if he doesn't say anything I'll do it! He hadn't actually given the cue to do it. Steve quote of the day: when discussing the level to which one should perform a pose if they are trying to push past too much pain..."It's like pissing up a rope...it ain't gonna happen!". These entries are becoming very Steve-centric. I guess he's my guru...I'm lucky!

2.19.16- 6am

For the record I did 6am yesterday as well but was unable to post a blog about it because my site was temporarily disabled because google wasn't convinced I was not a robot. I mean I realize this isn't the most exciting blog in the world but GEEZ! So I'm back. Steve lent me the biography of Steve Jobs (lots of Steves in this post)...I'm already 5 chapters deep. I was sort of averse to reading it because I didn't feel like reading about another rich, white, male mogul...but this is a really good read. How this post relates to yoga at all is unclear but it's my blog, I'm not a robot and I can do what I want! Good Steve (not Jobs) class today.

2.17.16- 9am

Peaced out on the first part of work today so that I could sleep a little and go to 9am yoga with Colin. About to head to lunch at Nearly Normals with Roz so I'll keep this short. Great Steve class...but I feel like if I don't touch my forehead to my toes in the 3rd part of "Stretching Pose" soon Steve might start getting bummed. Is there a little pressure, yes...self-imposed...but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Come on, body!

2.16.16- 6am

Had a great visit with chiropractor Dr. Lawrence...he practices naturopathic medicine and was very gentle and honed in on the knee issue right away. Brilliant! He did a few various things included adjusting my pelvis which is twisted causing my bad knee leg to be 1/2 inch shorter. This is a common issue for most people but it causes one to put more pressure on various muscles in the shorter leg. So he yanked on my leg as well...by the end of the hour my knee already felt better, it's all connected. Class today was much less painful than it has been. I'm so stoked about this I didn't get bothered by the dude in the back row staring at my crotch during "Camel" pose. Enjoy the view, homeboy! Oh and today I have acupuncture...can life get any better!?!?

2.15.16- 6am

Slept so much this weekend that I think I made it out of the slump I was in...although I'm on the grind like a mofo at work and that isn't going to get any better any time soon. I shall persevere, however! I have a chiro appt. shortly to look at my knee. I am realizing that I have underused my quad muscles for probably my whole life and this could be partly why my knees have issues. "Standing Seperate Leg Stretching" is the posed that brought this to light for me and I went deeper in it today than ever before because I was unrelenting about pulling up on my quad muscles. Even though I always thought I was doing that I don't think I really was until now. I hope I like this doctor!

2.14.16-9am

Valentine's Day, I have never enjoyed this day...but it was nice to see that because all classes were free today, lots of people brought in their "mates". I doubt many of them will return but at least they gave it a try! I did 9am with Colin and even conceded to being next to him in the back row next to his spot that he never deviates from. I prefer front row where I can see myself but it was nice to be next to him. He really has made so much progress and is responsible for encouraging me to try Bikram and meditation. I love him very much! But I still don't like Valentine's Day.

2.13.16- 9am

Went to bed with a sore throat and woke up with the same one...had a pretty good class: was able to exit "Standing Head to Knee" with head on knee, exiting with at least a little control for a sec...baby steps. That said, it was clear when I left that I was still sick. I zombie-like walked in the house, took a shower and then passed out on the bed for 3 hours. I'm better now but wow, something was/is passing through me....could be a combo of the challenge mixed with the overtime being put in at work. In other words, i'm suffering from "exhaustion" just like Whitney back in the day. I can testify, it's REAL. Just ask my PR rep.

2.12.16- 6am

Today is Colin's bday so I left a little early (after Rabbit) and we had a little bday celebration then Colin went to 9am. It's official...we're addicted! Really focusing on lifting up and getting taller...if I just stand still in Mountain Pose and just feel my skeleton particular my rib cage, I can visibly make myself taller, or at least it feels that way. It makes sense...gravity is always on us, the weight of the world is always on us. BKS Inyengar explains this process in a much more eloquent and lovely way...the term is "Dynamic Extension". Hope Colin has a great class...it will as Steve says "set the tone for his day".

2.11.16- 6am

Today Jeannie gave me a "good one, Jane!" on "Rabbit pose". I don't think I've ever received kudos on that one and especially not from Jeannie (she's tough!)...so it made me very warm and fuzzy inside just like a fuzzy little rabbit, how appropriate. I am only now understanding the point of that pose a year and a half in to my Bikram yoga practice. Something special happened,  my lower spine released more today and I felt it lift higher than ever before. I can't express what a great feeling it is when you make substantial progress in a pose like that. YIPPEE!!

2.10.16- 6am

Today, for only the second time ever, I was able to touch my forehead to my knee in "Standing Head to Knee" and come out with control vs. falling out. The first time I did it was in a Steve class and so was this time and on the same leg as last time (even though my standing leg is my bum knee and doesn't like a lot of weigh on it). So that was exciting, WOOT! The other thing I have to report is that my secondary 60 day challenge goal is now to touch my forehead to my toes in the last part of "Stretching Pose". I have about 2inches to go...so close yet so far away.

2.9.16- 6am

I am definitely feeling the effects of doing yoga every single day. It had been a least a few weeks since before the 60 day challenge since i've skipped a day and for the most part the effects are great...but I'm also dragging a bit. It's not called a challenge for nothin' I guess! The positive is that on certain postures that I can still do well given my knee I can really go deeper. Even on "Standing Bow Pulling Pose" which bugs my knee a little I was able to concentrate today in a way I never have before. It was fairly brief but when I got there, it really did feel like I could "hold it forever" like the dialog says! Will I continue to try for that...we'll see how it goes. I need to take it easy on my knee.

2.8.16- 6am

Back at the celebrity sighting lacking Corvallis studio. I love it though...always a comforting and friendly place to be. In Corvallis there is 1 degree of separation from everyone and you find that out quickly when you start talking to people in class. Today I am focusing more on tightening my quad muscles when I am in "Standing Separate Leg Stretching" pose. I think not REALLY locking my leg and using my upper leg muscles contributes to my knee pain. I also need to be more mindful of where I am balancing the weight on my feet. Who knew it was so hard to think about your feet. It really is, though.

2.7.16- 8:30am Portland Sellwood Studio

Well today was an exciting class! Not only was I in Portland at my fave studio in Sellwood but we had a rock star in class. None other than Mr. Steve Malkmus...indie god of the 90s band Pavement. Of course my first thought upon recognizing him (he was front row, I was behind him) was "Colin is gonna be so freakin' jealous!" I made sure not to look at him much but I did notice one thing and that is that he also keeps his eyes closed during pranayama breathing...a big no-no and continuing source of discussion between Colin and I because he does the same thing and refuses to change. What does it mean!?!? Well probably nothing. A couple other things about Steve is he has a kind of gross old light purple yoga mat, he's really skinny and has a big scar on this stomach and he's not very flexible but he tries hard. Not a great shot but I made sure to get proof of this event. I made sure to lie to the person at the front desk and say I needed to prove I did a class for my 60 day challenge:

Happy Sunny Sunday....namaste!

2.6.16

Good class with Elizabeth. She reminded me to lift up and out...to keep searching for that space between each vertabrae, muscle, etc...there's always more to give!

2.5.16- 6am

First work week of the 60 day challenge complete....it was an incredibly draining week at work, jammed schedules every day and moments of near desperation facing challenges I had to deal with but the yoga carried me through. Colin and I actually look forward to class. When I was a little girl, my grandma, Ya Ya, had this little bowl of cards, each one having a drawing of a different angel...love, patience, good will, etc. and we'd always pick an angel of the day when we'd visit. I was surprised to see the same bowl of angels when I started at Bikram Corvallis and make sure to pick one every morning. Today I got the angel of "Tenderness" and that seemed appropriate. I'm going to try a little tenderness on my knee, on mySELF, and with others.

2.4.16- 6am

Was a rough class because of my knee but Steve was very helpful and reminded me that everyone goes through this and just don't let it get you down...back off on postures that strain the injury. So I did, and it helped. I am trying to focus on going deeper in the postures that still feel good...and there are many!

2.3.16- 6am

My knee must have been mad at me for calling it a bitch in the last post because it did something weird during and impromptu dance party in the kitchen last night and now I can't even DO "Toe Stand". Not going to let it get me down though. OK, maybe I'm a little down. Still had a good class, though but can't do standing head to knee for very long on the bad knee side which is a new thing. Lame.

2.2.16- 6am

The good news, I figured out a new way to balance in "Toe Stand" that really changes the posture for me. By making sure my heel is directly tucked in to basically my crotch, directly in the center line of my body, I can get the leverage I need to stay balanced and move in the direction of lifting my hips off my heel. I can't lift up yet, and honestly it could take a year before I even come close...but I now get how it's done (i think?). The bad news, I can only really do it on one side right now because my left knee is still giving me problems. It has been a couple months now...really ready for that bitch to heal.

2/1/16- 6am

Today was the first day of the 60 day yoga challenge at our studio. My goal is to go to class every day and maybe even squeeze in one or two doubles. It will be tough since we'll be traveling during some of the time but there are Bikram studios where we are going to there are NO EXCUSES! Today on "standing seperate leg head to knee" I tried a tip from my husbro, pushing my forehead strongly into my knee...and it helped with my ability to even out my hips and balance. Thanks, honey!  This article makes me want to perfect that pose even more. The thyroid fascinates me and I think gave me lots of problems before I started yoga (though tests never showed any issue...but doctors aren't that smart). http://www.collective-evolution.com/2015/10/07/the-secret-to-staying-healthy-the-lymphatic-system/

1.31.16- 9am

Solid Steve class today, Colin joined and touted the fact he didn't bring water in to class. Packed. Got a correction on "Standing Separate Leg Head to Knee", always one of my most problematic postures due to my hips being uneven. I can get my head to my knee no problem but trying to put the weight on my front foot and level my hips is a huge challenge. I have to think about it really intensely the whole time and even then my hips still can't get level sometimes. They are starting to open more though...a little each day. It's a good day in this pose when I get a stomach cramp (sounds crazy, but its true). Didn't get one today, though.

1/30/16- 9am

I touched my forehead to my knee but fell out vs. exiting with control Oh well, as a wise woman once said, "tomorrow is another day". Today I worked on keeping my toes and feet aligned during camel pose. My right foot has a tendency to turn out. That is a habit I have done since childhood and it's taken this long to start to undo it. One wonderful thing that happens in class is you undo old habits. I still have to be very mindful during the set up and entirety of the pose or I inadvertently start turning out again.

Why Am I Doing A Yoga Blog?

I decided to create this (hopefully) daily journal to track my progress in yoga. If others find it interesting, great! It was suggested by one of my wonderful teachers, Steve, at Bikram Yoga of Corvallis, that keeping track of daily progress in yoga practice helps one realize where they are gaining strength, where to focus energies and how the body changes in subtle...and sometimes not so subtle ways. Yoga has done amazing things for me both physically and mentally since I got serious about my practice about a year and half ago by starting hot yoga. I am forever indebted to my husband, Colin, for getting me to go. I'd like to believe that I will continue on this journey for the rest of my life. I can't imagine my life without it! The biggest physical changes I have seen  so far; my chronic lower back pain has pretty much disappeared, I have lost nearly 20lbs and I have more energy to get through my work day. But the most IMPORTANT change that I have observed is internal. I am better able to control my emotions and relax, let things go, and be at peace with the way things are in the moment, even if they might not be particularly "pleasant". Finding inner peace is my biggest goal and through yoga I can see that it is possible. Can I find it all of the time? HA! Most definitely not...but I now know that it  is possible through a continued daily practice and determination and that's a great feeling. The rest of my entries won't be nearly this wordy, this is what they will look like:

1/29/16

Yesterday I was having difficult time getting/staying in my mind during savasana. Even though you just lay on your back and relax it really is true that it's most challenging pose to stay in mentally. Focusing in the concentration poses was a bit better though I still have only been able to get my forehead to my knee in "standing head to knee" once while exiting the posture in a controlled way. That is my goal right now, do to that again. Maybe it will happen today! Off to class...

Thanks for reading, if you so choose...and if not, thanks for ignoring!

Jane